Chunking Our Way Through A New England Winter (or, “Screw You Mother Nature” (you can pick your title because this is one of those new fangled, interactive titles))

January brings a present
Not remotely that unpleasant
It is New England’s winter thaw
Awakening feelings of awe

The grass, it greens; the dirt, it smells
Old Yankee men use words like “swell”
Me, I sit by my warm fi-yah
Calling Mother Nature “Li-yah!”

Mother Nature cannot be trusted
Ah! She knows now she’s been busted
Winter begins in December?
Lie! It’s grey back in November.

Screw the rule that says we gotta
Be pissy persons non grata
“Winter sucks”, well let’s debunk it
Break it up, let’s freakin’ chunk it!

Luckily, at first there’s turkey
To lift our mood, make us perky
Christmas comes and New Years arrives
Days are gettin’ longer, high fives!

Now you’re suffering from doldrums
Full of miserables and humdrums
May is spring, you must admit
Not March or April, that’s bullshit.

May’s so far, we chunk along so
as to avoid feelings of woe
When suddenly the lifting fog
Reminds us of that dang groundhog!

Phil, yes, Phil, our superhero!
As feisty as a young De Niro
Cute and brown and brave and brawny
Yep, he hails from Punxsutawney!

February second morning
With haughty words of forewarning
Phil prognosticates his vision
With questionable precision

He’s so worth anticipation
If you can’t take a vacation.
No matter if he’s right or wrong
This rat deserves his own theme song!

Another to anticipate
In March, we must participate
In Leprechaun shenanigans
Just find a bar called ‘Flanagans’!

Tradition down in Dingleville
Offers more tomfoolery still
For as March Seventeenth draws near
There’s much to worry, much to fear

No matter what we do or try
Regardless of schemes we apply
That freakin’ Leprechaun gets in
And wrecks the house to our chagrin

Chairs on tables, ash on the rug
That creepy green destructive thug
Breaks in, looks ’round, and then proceeds
Embarking on his freakin’ deeds.

But, by now, March is almost done
We’re seeing much more of the sun
Days are longer but, oh crud,
Ladies and Gents, here comes the mud!

Then there’s Jesus or the Bunny
Who’ll help us feel warm and sunny
When Easter comes and weather warms
No more nor’easter blizzard storms

Actually, sometimes that’s not true
That Mother Nature’s such a shrew
I never know when Easter is
I’d have to be a Catholic whiz

It’s always on a Sunday but
It varies every year somewhat
Math and physics come into play
To triangulate Easter day.

If it’s early, we might get snow
Hell, if it’s late we still could though
Born and raised here, I can remember
Snow in May just like December.

But late snow like that, it won’t last
We know it melts, like, wicked fast
The peepers chirp, the flowers pop
The spring landscape unfolds non-stop

So there you go, we worked our way
Hip hopping through the holidays
By breaking winter down to chunks
We say ‘screw you!” to winter funks.

Thanks for readin’.

* As always, you can come on over to Just Ponderin’s facebook page to comment or just hang out.