Get that camel in your head.
Also, let’s pretend your name is Mike.
MikeMikeMike. What day is it?
No. Not ‘Hump Day’.
Want another guess?
Today is the first absolutely lovely day in eastern-sort-of-close-to-central-ish Massachusetts where the sun is out and the air is crisp but not cold.
It’s the perfect day to do what everyone with dogs and a yard does this time of year.
It’s Poop Day at the Dingle house.
How and why, you might ask if you are lucky enough to live in a snow-free zone, and – well, if it was this winter – that pretty much includes a cave.
But, in general, if you live where it does not snow, your dogs probably have two potty choices.
Walk him or her with a nice collection of doggie bags (not the food kind) at the ready to, you know, scoop the poop or you can let them out in the yard and watch where they go, and then pick up their poop.
And toss it in your neighbor’s yard.
Naw. Just kidding.
But unless you are on a hike in the woods and your dogs goes where you don’t see them going, you most likely have to pick up poop, and you probably do this, like, daily.
Okay, now I will introduce you to winter zone dog poop pick up.
First, the lead up:
1. The leaves fall off the trees
2. The temperature drops precipitously
5. Fake-out warm spell (just enough to melt some of the snow)
6. Deep freeze
11. Repeat steps 7 – 10
12. A. Lot.
Okay, so the people who live in the cities still have to bring their dogs outside to the sidewalk or park and follow them around with their little doggie bags (again, different than the food ones…let’s just call them Poo Bags shall we?) and then dispose of the Poo Bags in a proper manner. And some mornings, lets face it, when it’s below zero (farenheit, not celsius, because for some reason water freezing at the number 32 was so much easier to remember for Americans than water freezing at… you know… the number zero. But I digress. Pissily.)
Anyway, if it is below zero degrees, even the city folk have to get the poop in their bags really fast because – yep, I’m gonna say it – fresh poo will stick to the sidewalk if it’s cold enough. And this will create nice little poo speed bumps for all the other city folks to navigate on their way to work.
Sure, totally fun, but not really fair.
So what about us lowly country folk, living out here with cows for neighbors?
We are very creative.
And what do we create?
Minefields. That’s what.
Here’s how it goes: The temp plummets, Thanksgiving happens, the snow falls, the ice forms and the streets get narrower and narrower as the season progresses. Walking your dog means taking your life in your hands. You could literally be plowed up at any moment and end up in a plow-induced avalanche-type situation on the side of the road.
Hey, you never know.
So for safety’s sake, it makes far more sense to allow your dogs to go play in the snow in the back yard and, yes, do their business.
Which means poop.
So you let them out and they plow through several feet of snow and they poop.
And even with one small dog you cannot always tell where because you have to run around after them in the aforementioned several feet of snow. Which you do initially because you have dreams of a clean yard once the snow melts in, like, six months.
And you let them out, and follow them out, several times a day when it is 7 degrees (farenheit!), or 13 degrees, or – 3.
You follow them and follow them and follow them.
Until one day, when you say ‘fluck it’ and you don’t follow them any more because someday the snow will melt and it will be spring and really what are you doing with that part of the yard anyway?
All this usually happens before Christmas.
Leaving the rest of the winter to poop.
And I was just talking about one small dog. And, I mean, how much poop can come out of that?
Answer? More than you could possibly predict.
Now imagine multiple dogs.
Let’s say… four?
We get to say four for the purposes of this post, and it is not exaggerating because Monty was around for most of the poop build-up this winter.
So what happens in the country when you have multiple dogs and way too much snow, and no really safe and avalanche-like situational avoidance strategy to walk said dogs? Oh, and the snow eventually melts and you have a lovely sunshiny 50-ish degree day?
You guessed it!
To clear the minefield without experiencing the mine field.
So today, the Nearly Perfect Husband booted up and headed out to the back yard with a shovel and a container.
And Blaze, Marshal Dillon Dingle, and Fred clearly needed to help out because – let’s face it – they have those dog noses and can locate all that poop easily.
With four contributors toward Poop Day, sometimes it needs to become Poop Week. But the very first day of the effort is always Poop Day, and cause for great celebration.
Oh, Marshal Dillon Dingle.
Yes. He celebrates.
He’s still a little ticked off about being locked in Pantry Prison yesterday while Glen and Elias painted.
How do I know?
Thanks for readin’.
Oh! Please enjoy a lovely photo gallery of Poop Day 2014:
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