In photography, when you take a photo and then you don’t do anything to it, because you do not rent Photoshop or are too lazy to download free programs like Picasa (or don’t want to touch it up with your crayons or magic markers), then you have a SOOC photo.

Once I thought that was pronounced, ‘sook’.

But now that I am a wicked professional photographer (because once someone asked if they could download a photo I took and frame it, that is how I became a wicked professional photographer)… anyway, now that I am a wicked professional photographer, I know that it really isn’t ‘sook’, it is an acronym for:

Straight

Out

Of

Camera.

And, though I initially fought against it, this term has replaced the acronym ‘NMW’ in my daily photo vocabulary. Mostly because no one ever understood what I meant by NMW, but other photographers seem to understand what SOOC means.

NMW stands for ‘Not Mucked With’, which I must say is a way better and more descriptive term, but I did not invent the photography dictionary and there is an enormous hassle factor involved in petitioning the FPDP (Freakin’ Photography Dictionary People) to change and/or add terms. I know this because of Google.

So today I was hanging with Marshal Dillon Dingle in the foyer and I asked him to say ‘cheese’ and the resulting photo is above.

SOOC.

See? I’m awesome at formal photography speak now.

And then I talked to him and he tried to listen in typical Marshal Dillon Dingle style, also SOOC:

But then I thought I noticed something odd in how he looked so I looked a little closer at him.

There was something… off.

Something blurry, almost… orbit-y… in his presence.

And then it hit me.

Oh my Gawd, I think Marshal Dillon Dingle might have gotten a little too close to the black hole in the Old Barn in Maine.

But how to prove it to the rest of you?

So then I thought that this could be similar to those orbs that appear in some photographs – the ones that might be spirits of people passed on. The ones you can only capture with… your camera!

So I grabbed my camera again and snapped this, and this is not mucked with – er – SOOC…

 Can’t see it well enough? Okay, let me crop it closer….

Doesn’t he look a little bit swirl-y?

No? Okay, hang on… how about now?

Oh ya.

There it is.

Evidence.

He has to have been playing in the old barn… just a little too close to the black hole.

His particles are all messed up.

This is absolutely a bi-product of close proximity with a region of space-time from which gravity prevents anything, including light, from escaping.

Wikipedia. Not the byproduct part. Just the definition. I extrapolated the rest, and feel good about it.

Only the lens attached to the camera of a wicked professional photographer could have  picked up the subtleties of his affliction. But it’s clear.

Photographic proof.

Marshal Dillon Dingle is now hole-y.

HMDD.

Hole-y Marshal Dillon Dingle.

Look out world.

Thanks for readin’.

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