… on not an elf on the shelf
December 25, 2016
So I’m sitting there the other night, all cozy in my big comfy chair and looking at my warm and cozy twinkle lights and kind of overlooking one.
A blue one.
I am not an LED light fan. Not at all. I don’t want flamingo pinks and caribbean blues and lime green lights in my twinkling displays.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging anyone – not at all. To each his own, her own – but gimme the energy sucking big C9 old fashioned bulbs that I probably won’t be able to get for much longer, along with the regular old colors in the small twinkle lights too.
I want evergreen greens and Santa-suit reds.
I’ll take a nice deep blue here and there and orange and even a dark pink if I need to. But there is something cold about some of the LED strands. They can’t even fool me with their pittle-y attempted ‘warm white’.
You can’t just SAY it’s warm white people! It is NOT. It is disguised wHeird BLUE-white. SOMEone has to go back to R&D and tell the elves to start all over again. STAT!
So you would think that a steel-drum inspired island-blue light in the midst of my truly warm white twinkle lights might stand out to me, like right away. But, it didn’t.
It sort of crept up on me, the reality of it, over days. And finally I said… “Hey, Sam, what’s that blue light up there on the shelf near the rocking horse?”
And Sam glanced over, all nonchelant-like, and said ‘Oh. Huh. I, uh. I don’t know, Mother.”
When they call me ‘mother’ it seems so ‘Norman Bates’-ish that I sort of cringe every time. Probably not so much for the psychopathedness, but usually because it indicates I am on the outside of some joke and I’m about to trigger a trap.
So I got up and looked closer.
It was not a blue light.
It was a warm, white light… behind a blue something…
The freakin’ Dawn came home from Maine.
I know when I’ve been beaten.
And then, as quickly as it came, it left the spot in front of the warm white twinkle light by the rocking horse and I didn’t know where it went.
Until I looked up from my spot at the counter the other morning and saw…
Here. Let me zoom out for you.
It – life – was not feeling wonderful.
And I know that, when dealing with a passive aggressive human (or huMANS) that it is best to just step away and ignore. Go quiet. Don’t acknowledge. Don’t feed the beast.
Because then they just get tired and go away.
And they totally did!
No freakin’ Dawn anywhere, and all was peaceful.
I could just hang out, commune with my beautiful tree in peace and amble on through Christmas.
There will be no peace.
Thanks for readin’ (ho ho ho!)
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