Last night the snow fell and fell and fell and we woke up to a phenomenal winter wonderland. And it is supposed to snow all day long which means…
At about 10 this morning, I got my first text about the storm from a friend who was wondering if we were okay.
Then I got a few more.
So then I decided to head over to weatherchannel.com.
Apparently, and once again, we are in the middle of an emergency. Seems we are way, way, way under-reacting.
I started clicking through the headlines.
The first was very scary: “Here’s What Two Nor’easters in Five Days Looks Like From Space”
Yes, the grammatical error threatened to stop me from reading on, but I muscled my way past the gag reflex. For you.
So guess what?
Well, first I had to watch an ad where a dermatologist told me she came all the way from Albuquerque to help cure dry skin. I didn’t know where she actually came to from Albuquerque, but I assumed it was to me (I’ve been checking the house all day).
But, after that, the article did indeed show me two individual satellite images of nor’easters, as seen from space. Not two nor’easters in five days in one photo – which is what I wanted to see. Because otherwise they are just two pictures of two separate storms, and anyone can show me that.
Like, if the headline had read “Here’s What Three Hundred and Five Shirtless Ryan Reynolds Looks Like From Space” and then they showed me thee hundred and five separate photos of Shirtless Ryan Reynolds, I would have been really mad because…
I would have been fine with three hundred and five separate shirtless Ryan Reynolds pics.
That’s a bad comparison.
Okay so the next headline read, “Nor-Easter Quinn – Over a Million Left in the Dark”
Okay, so here is the thing.
No other scarier Q names or words out there?
We get storms.
Power goes out.
Sometimes for an hour, sometimes for days.
It’s a pain in the arse, but we don’t tend to panic about these things.
To show you what I mean, I asked Marshal to simulate a power outage… something where he is a little cold and it is also dark.
Note that Marshal does not look super panicked.
Most likely, he is thinking that maybe he should build a fire in the fireplace once he gets inside, and also he will not be able to use the stove to cook his supper tonight so that’s sad… or he could heat it with the fire he just built in the fireplace.
That is what we call “Yankee Ingenuity”.
“Ocean City Looks Like a City in the Ocean”
I don’t even know what to say about that.
I did watch the video though and you know what? The streets were totally flooded in Ocean City! And the water looked really deep…
Until two cars drove through and the water didn’t even reach their rims.
Nope. Not kidding.
Then I watched another video, with the anxiety-provoking title, “Watch Quinn Overtake New York in 24 Seconds!”
I clicked on it right away!
It was a time-lapse of the entire day into night.
In that vein, Marshal Dillon Dingle could look right at me when I yell “Come!”, then turn around and go find his ducky, come back toward me, stop and try to pick up the tennis ball without having the ducky fall out of his mouth (try again and again, to the tune of 37 tries), make fourteen other detours while I scream ‘come!’ and then come and sit by my side. I could record it, do the time-lapse thingie, and write the headline, “Dog Comes on Command from Length of Football Field to Owner’s Side in 1.7 Seconds.”
We’d go viral.
And then there is the stress of these storms, making people see things much more grandiosity-ish than they are…
“New England Under Feet of Snow, and It’s not Over Yet!”
“Dogs Attacking Other Dogs in Snow!”
Okay, that second one was made up by me. No dogs were harmed in the making of the above photo. Blaze kept her ball though.
Look. My car may be sitting in feet of snow, and my house might be hanging out with feet of snow around it. I am, however, not under feet of snow. Nor are any of my New England-y friends.
You want to freak us out?
How about, “Burgeouning Daffodil Covered by Feet of Snow!”
We can be brought to tears by that one.
It happens all the dang time to us here. Did you think we buy hair dryers for our hair?
We eat snowstorms for breakfast here in the Northeast.
But dangle spring in front of us on a 60 degree day after a tough winter, allow us a glimpse of a chartreuse baby leaf breaking through soil still wet from snowmelt… and then send in a Nor-Easter to clobber our hopes and dreams of crocuses, daffodil, and forsythia for another few weeks?
That will have us diving into our bottles and mumbling indecipherables.
The last video I watched was after the snow was all done with New York City yesterday.
I watched a meteorologist jump into the snow and roll down a hill.
Madness, mayhem, and an entire region of the United States of America under feet of snow.
Then a weather guy laughing and rolling down a hill.
Kind of wraps it up perfectly doesn’t it.
The messages from the past twenty four hours (I’ll time-lapse it for you):
All this stuff could happen!
Would be a catastrophe if it happened!
Have fun out there.
I can assure you, Blaze and Marshal are taking that last piece of advice to heart.
Thanks for readin’.
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