… on puppies in repose
May 28, 2013
This post should really be entitled, ‘…on puppY in repose’. As in singular puppy. Singular nine-month-old puppy. For the record, nine month old puppies never feel singular. Ever. So this image could be a lie. Photoshopped perhaps, as this dog is clearly reposed (which must be a word because spell check didn’t catch it (and I know spellcheck is on because it did catch ‘puppY’ with a capital ‘Y’ above). Onward!
‘Repose’ is defined in my handy-dandy on-line dictionary as, “Temporary rest from activity, excitement, or exertion…” The key word here is ‘temporary‘. This dictionary author is clearly a dog owner. I’m pretty sure I’m right. Like, how would he or she come up with a word for temporary rest from activity if he or she didn’t know that puppies only rest temporarily? Lets guess it’s a he – not because I’m sexist but just because I want to picture the person I’m writing about. It’s a he. And ‘repose’ sounds like a word that someone like Leonardo Da Vinci (also a “he”) might have actually invented to describe a special painting. For instance, his “Mama Rina in Repose” – a freakishly small, very old painting which, upon completion, Leonardo accidentally smudged the title of as he was cropping it with the very first pair of scissors (Yes, he invented scissors. Look it up). A few (okay, 200) years later, as Napoleon was considering what wall of his bedroom to hang the painting on (he had several nail holes to cover up), he famously asked his hanging expert what the name of the painting was. Without the ability to text Da Vinci for a quick answer, the expert made a sweeping motion with his hand (indicating his importance), went to the painting, turned it over and lyingly announced that the smudged title read, ‘Mona Lisa’. Ya. Mona Lisa. How he came up with that so quickly has become legend in the scary brown robe-clad super secret art community that Dan Brown will undoubtably write about in a future novel. Seriously: Mona Lisa? I can’t believe Napoleon bought it. I mean, how many Monas were running around the Tuileries at the time? But now you know. The famous painting is the Mama Rina, not the ‘Mona Lisa’. CateRINA da Vinci was Leonardo’s Mom, the painting was actually a first draft of a Mother’s Day card, he cut it with scissors (that he invented…I said to look it up) because he didn’t like the way he wrote ‘Happy Mother’s Day’ on the top (which is why the painting is so small.), and that explains why the person in the picture looks so much like da Vinci himself. They were related. Seriously, Occam’s Razor people. Didn’t anyone out there even bother to see Contact?
Where was I? Oh ya. Reposed puppies.
The reposed puppy in the photo is Marshal. Marshal Dillon Dingle. He is never in repose (except, of course, in this picture – and even now he could leap up off the page at any minute and simultaneously cover your face with a stinky tongue bath and corn-cob groom your hair….not truly simultaneously but this puppy is fast.). The second definition of repose reads, “Be lying, situated, or kept in a particular place.” This is how I know that – because Marshal never situates in one place – this on-line dictionary dog owner is someone who misleads people. On purpose. Like maybe the type of person who would smudge the title to a painting on purpose as he was cutting it down to a freakishly small size, thus causing a really big historical cover up requiring the employment of spooky, quiet, robe-wearing art Masons.
Leonardo da Vinci is the inventor, and subsequent definer, of the word ‘repose’. And he had dogs. But, sadly, was a pathological liar with sociopathic tendencies.
And he invented scissors (true).
Thanks for readin’.