Today I got my first ‘senior’ solicitation.
I was certain that, when this day came, my solicitation would come in the same form that it comes for many of us – a nice invitation to join my first union, the American Association Retired People, or AARP. I was pretty excited about that invitation too, because I had visited their website and I was pretty impressed that their main menu includes….games!
No I am not kidding.
The main menu for the AARP website is as follows:
- Member Benefits
- Work and Retirement
- Home and Family
And, since I wasn’t necessarily interested in the other stuff, I went directly to Games… where I found …. video games!
No I am not kidding!
So then I became all sorts of excited because, hey, when I am a seasoned citizen I know I will want to play games because who doesn’t like a good game? And I was further enthralled because how cool was this?! Seniors are playing Angry Birds (and getting as mad at the pigs as I do) and this is absolutely hysterical, and I should totally go over and bookmark the AARP games section on Grampa’s iPad (which he uses because we flat out lied to him and told him that it is not a computer (because he absolutely believes computers make people bad at math (don’t ask))).
So I have all these visions of hanging out with my fellow seasoned citizens and participating in tournaments involving games from Tetris, to Plants vs. Zombies, to Need for Speed and this is incredible because I used to think that my activities as a newly minted senior would involve a lot of tour bus travel, ankle compression socks, and 15% off every single thing I ever bought for the rest of my life.
Also, I was looking forward to learning to play dominos.
But that is a dream of the past because, people, I am here to tell you that the AARP has made it clear to me – via their official website – that my fellow seniors are big into the gaming world and I am all over that.
So I figured that I should download a few games onto my iPhone so that I can prepare to do big time gaming battle with my senior friends and, being particularly in AARP website navigation, I looked up what the most played games are.
I waited in anticipation as the games loaded. I knew Tetris would totally be there. I hoped for Plants vs. Zombies because I am a big fan of the pea shooter plant, and I was actually hoping for Paper Toss over Angry Birds (due to the aforementioned hatred I hold, deep in my heart, for those pigs).
These seniors are so advanced that I don’t play any of their video games. Every single game on their top ten list was a surprise to me.
I am going to have to engage in a lot of game play to be able to compete with these silver bullets.
Here are the top ten most popular video games on today’s AARP website:
- Number one: Mahjongg Dimensions
- Number two: Spider Solitaire
- Number three: Free Cell Solitaire
- Number four: Pyramid Solitaire
- Number five: Klondike Solitaire
- Number six: Mahjongg Road Trip
- Number seven: Mahjongg Dark Dimensions
- Number eight: Eggz
- Number nine: Hollywood Solitaire
- Number ten: 52 Card Pickup
The top ten list of video games for my new people, according to the AARP, includes 5 incarnations of solitaire, three variations of mahjongg (including ‘dimensions’ and ‘dark dimensions’), and a game called Eggz in which you create ‘colorful matches’ of – you guessed it – eggs. The top ten list also contains 52 Card Pickup and I am going to launch a protest on behalf of my new brethren because – considering the number of hip and knee replacements, as well as achy joints we will all be dealing with – 52 Card Pickup is just a mean game.
So, based on the top ten video games, as listed on AARP’s website, I’m no longer excited about joining my fellow seasoned citizens as a newly minted member of the AARP, so I guess I’ll just open up this e-mail and have a quick look and then toss it….
This is not an invitation to join the AARP … It is an invitation to join a the Senior Dating Network!
I could meet 1000s of Single Seniors!
Oh my Gawd, and since my nearly perfect husband is 18 days younger than I am, he is not in my same age bracket and is clearly therefore undateable … for over two weeks …
I have to go. There is a silver fox somewhere out there with my name on him!
Thanks for readin’.
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