… on pornographic elephants.


Clementines hanging out with a banana. Don’t even get me started.

Hey, how are ya?

C’mon over. Sit down.

It’s been a while since we’ve had coffee.


What do you mean, “What’s that?”



Jesus. It really is like we live in a cave.

A man cave.


That’s one of self-proclaimed-perfect-child-Gabe’s creations.

Jack’s friend Bill Li taught him how to do it.

He loves it.

No, it’s not an elephant.

How do I know?

Because when he first handed me one, he was laughing like the hyena in The Lion King.

No, not Whoopi. The googly eyed one.

Then they started showing up all over the house – sometimes in pairs, sometimes four or five at once – any time we bought clementines, those teeny oranges.

Gabe would tell you they are cash and prizes.

Meat and vegetables.

Chicken nuggets.

Boys in the basement.

Oh for Christ’s sake.

It’s supposed to be testicles and a rather long, narrow penis.

This is what I live with people.

And, in order to maintain my sanity, I actually look for possible explanations for this type of thing.

So when, this morning, at 6:38 a.m., I came downstairs and saw a lovely elephant (I’ve come to call them that) waiting for me next to my computer, I stopped.

I looked around.

I saw Gabe’s pile of books.

I remembered that he just told me on Friday that he was studying the reproductive system in biology class – absolutely true – and I mentally congratulated my self-proclaimed-perfect-child on his overachieving ways.

He made a model.

Of the reproductive system.

Out of a clementine.

The kid is going the extra mile.

For science.

He. is. a. freakin’. genius.

Thanks for readin’.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA* As always, you can come on over to Just Ponderin’s facebook page to comment or just hang out.