Is our patio.
That’s ten years and six months of patio presence.
And, let’s see… we got Fred in October of 2004… so he has been here… yep! Ten years.
And the ShepHerds?
Well, Blaze came to us in May of 2011, so she has been familiar with the patio for 3 years and five months give or take.
And Marshal… well he got here in November 2012, so he is just coming up on two years here.
In the Disposable Shack.
With the patio.
See? That’s Marshal Dillon Dingle right there:
Now. See that thing in the middle of the patio?
The hole thingie?
That’s a fire pit.
Let’s zoom in, shall we?
So see how it is sort of… oh I dunno … built into the patio with cement and stuff?
It is not new, this fire pit.
The dogs pass by it every day, on their way to their potty places and play time.
Okay. End of prologue.
We open our scene with the Dingle Dogs.
Having just been let outside, they descend the porch stairs, and stop on the patio. The expectation being that they will round the corner by the big circle bush and head down to the lawn area.
On this particular day, they are taking their time. A patio conference seems to take precedence over pooping and playing.
Let’s look in on them shall we?
As with all conferences, there is pre-session mingling…
Looking out for friends to sit with for lunch and break outs…
And the all important checking of IDs before entering the closed sessions…
But wait, what is that over there? Something to take the attention off the all important (yet soon to be mundane) conference happenings?!
Queue theme from Mission Impossible (don’t read on until it’s in your head.)
Oh my Gawd!
What is THAT?!
Marshal Dillon Dingle bravely leaps onto a never-before-seen patio-based landform.
He expertly shifts positions to get a better look…
Her Royal Highness the Princess Bunny-Blaze (Blaze) answers Marshal’s call…
And so, HRH the Princess Bunny-Blaze and Marshal Dillon Dingle had a meeting about the never-before-seen hole on the patio.
So, not knowing if it is a friendly hole, Marshal Dillon Dingle thought and thought and thought some more and came up with a brilliant idea…
“We should offer the hole a sacrifice!” he said.
And good music played and birds sang so it was decided that a sacrifice was a good idea.
As with all matters of such importance, the decision was left up to the closest royal (the responsibility of Princesshood is often crushing).
So while her royal subject stood guard at the dangerous and suspicious hole, Blaze chose a sacrifice fitting for the occasion.
And Blaze brought the sacrifice to the mysterious hole.
And the sacrifice was laid at the edge of the hole.
And Marshal guarded the hole-y sacrifice with all of his might.
But nothing happened.
And still nothing.
And nothing still.
So the decision was made to leave the sacrifice. To remove the guard. For perhaps the hole wanted privacy in order to consider such a gift…
So Marshal Dillon Dingle and his Princess Blaze again huddled together…
What to do…
What to do…
Marshal came up with a brilliant plan to taunt the hole with many tongue-sticker-outings and some raspberries…
So they conferenced one last time. And Blaze had a lightbulb moment.
Blaze said, “We need a hero.”
“A hero?!” Marshal said. “But who? Who amongst us would be brave enough and wise enough to know what to do with this hole?”
And you know how they say that when a situation is ready, a hero will appear?
Well, when it appeared to be at its darkest….
Sure, he was a little short.
And… a little round.
But Fred was equal to the task at hand.
First, he analyzed the situation.
And then he thought really, really hard.
And he told everyone to close their eyes…
And think about the hole.
And visualize the hole being a good and friendly hole.
And then, Fred-the-hero opened his eyes before any of the other dogs…
And, while the ShepHerds still sat with their eyes closed, he spoke to them…
“Um.” he said, gathering courage. “I know you are both German ShepHerds, and you are wicked smart and one of you is even a Princess … I forget which one because you all smell the same to me… but I think this hole has always been here…”
The ShepHerds gasped… “No…” they both said in disbelief.
“Yes, it has been.” Fred said, taking a deep breath, “But it has also been angry.”
The ShepHerds gasped, “What should we do?!”
“Well,” Fred moved slowly around the patio “I think that if you wish it, really hard, the hole will accept your sacrifice and be happy for the rest of time.”
And so the ShepHerds wished and wished and wished. Really hard. And, when they opened their eyes, the Princess made her way to the side of the hole…
And the hole-y sacrifice was gone.
The ShepHerds searched far and wide.
But the little yellow hero was not seen again on that patio for quite some time.
The ShepHerds eventually calmed down and learned to live in peace and harmony with the hole.
And some say, that far below the patio with its strange and wondrous hole, in fields of green grass that reach forever, sometimes the hero has been seen, lying quietly in the shade. Gazing, with the slightest hint of anxiety, in the direction of the patio.
Whilst he chews the frack out of a certain orange hole-y sacrifice.
Thanks for readin’.
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