… on growing up so fast

“Uh, Janet? You’re blocking the shot… of me.” – Tac

Well, let’s see. It’s been a few weeks since three baby squirrels – well, one very small baby squirrel – showed up… and then brought her stoopid brothers.

Stoopid brothers

They were really small… no really. Like, they didn’t even have puffy tails and looked skinny to me. Hang on…. Yes, see?

That’s Janet, taking a drink from a rather small dish on the first day we met.

There was no adult squirrel interested in Tic’s, Tac’s, or Janet’s safety that day…

Or the next.

Or next.

I was more than a bit worried about them, especially since Janet had decided that hopping along behind me was a good survival strategy. So I reached out to a friend who said that, though young, they would probably be okay if I provided them with food and water sources for a few weeks.

Lo and behold, I had squirrels.

And, by the way, two German Shepherds who seemed majorly put out that they didn’t also get to ‘have squirrels’.

Like, as snacks.

So every morning and every afternoon, the new Dingle Diner Outdoor Bistro opens for business.

And wouldn’t you know, our customer base has grown by leaps and bounds.

We have a plethora of chipmunks, all of whom behaved like eccentric old aunties with really big purses. They just toss everything on the table in, and then bring it home…

They must save a ton on their grocery bills.

And then there’s this one guy who shows up for Happy Hour each night…

He is a Hairy Woodpecker and we know this because… well… we don’t really. Because apparently the Downy Woodpecker looks exactly the same, just smaller… BUT every website I found said it is astoundingly hard to tell the size difference unless they are sitting next to each other and that hardly ever happens.

My conclusion is they are the same bird with different advertising agencies.

The a**hole is that banned customer who keeps showing up. And yes, his mouth is open because he is YELLING at me… again.

He really is a dick.

Like, yesterday? I was taking pics of Tic, Tac, and Janet and he came over and not only chased Janet away but he rolled her. Yes, like a mugging!

Which is violence, and is not allowed at Dingle Diner Outdoor Bistro (it’s just after ‘No Paws, No Fur or Feathers, No Service’ in the rules).

I was on the screen porch sweeping and I ran outside, broom in hand.

Usually, as soon as I walk out onto the stairs, the other squirrels – except Tic, Tac, and Janet – generally skidaddle because, you know, human.

But not the a**hole.

He stood his ground.

So I walked over and moved my broom toward him, expecting him to flee… and he BIT IT!

Well that was not going to do and I dropped my broom down beside me and – not kidding – raised my arms above my head and made claws out of my hands and boom boom boomed my feet on the ground.

That little bully screamed and high tailed it out of there and deep into the stone wall, I tell ya.

And Tic, Tac, and Janet just temporarily went under their Safety Peony, returning to the Bistro seconds later because they are smart and know that Godzilla is not a natural enemy of baby grey squirrels.

Oh! I’ve totally strayed from the point of this post.

The baby squirrels are getting so big! Hang on…


When I go out in the morning and the afternoon, I call “TicTacJanet!” and, most of the time, I hear the scratching of little claws on bark. Janet always shows up first. She’s still the smallest of the three…

With a little cooing of “What a good girl!”, she comes on over…

I know. So dang cute. And look at her big girl tail too (hers is the shortest).

And this is Tic. Look at his newly poofy tail! His is the longest and he seems very proud of it.

Bringing up the rear is the shyest of the bunch, Tac…

I like that he is so careful. He’s a ponderer that one, and I hope it serves him well.

It is amazing, sometimes, how the small things of the world’s everydays show up in our own… and become important.

Each day, twice a day, I head outside with nuts and seeds and fruit and water and call out to three orphaned baby squirrels. If they take their time, I begin to worry that a local owl or hawk or falcon or fisher or fox or car or… well, you get the picture… might have turned three to two or one. Or.

But, so far, three still come. And three still grow.

And this goofy human smiles every time they show up, calling them by their silly names.

And continuing to give credit to the smallest of them.

The girl who took a chance with her own life…

And gave her little family a chance at theirs.

Janet. September 16, 2018.

Thanks for readin’.

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