… on holiday decorations (already!)


Face plant.

So I have been seeing a lot of posts and comments on Facebook by people who have walked into certain stores and/or malls and seen…gasp… holiday decorations.

Some people just seem pissed in general:

“August? Really?!”

And some people have more of a politically correct perspective:

“Oh, sure. A bunch of Santas but not one dreidel!”

And I would totally be with all of these people except for that I just can’t.

I get so excited about the idea of decorating my house for holidays.

I’m not wishing one minute of summer or fall away – not one second – but that doesn’t mean I can’t get all excited about how I feel during certain holidays.

As a matter of fact, I have a confession.

The other day… I was at HomeGoods.

HomeGoods is my all time favorite store in which to center myself and gain perspective… seriously, it is as good as pilgrim-ing myself all the way to a holy shrine, I think.

The Nearly Perfect Husband is yelling at me right now that I should put in that he once went to Fatima in Portugal, where people pilgrim on their knees to that holy shrine.  He did not pilgrim on his knees to the holy shrine, but did actually get on his knees later that day, and walked down a hundred steps (on his knees) into a wine cellar. Yes. That is all true.

Photographic proof:



My own shrine would have a yogi.  A super calming one, that didn’t make me do yoga or talk to me – like, at all.

Come to think of it, I don’t think it’s HomeGoods (the store or the stuff) that is the centering, calming aspect of this.

I think that it is that I rarely, if ever run into anyone who I know.

Or who wants to talk to me about anything more complicated than a pattern on a decorative throw (go fairly neutral, focus on seasonal color, rather than a holiday theme).

That might be the key, I think.

The less I’m talked to, the closer I am to achieving Nirvana.

Well, that and if I have access to really good prices on everything from Yankee Candles to fluffy towels to decorative shadow boxes.

But also?

Holiday decorations.

Okay, I totally bought one.

It might be the greatest holiday decoration of all time.

When I bought it, I wasn’t thinking of how far off the holidays are.

I wasn’t worried that my friends would consider me some sort of a warm-weather-wishing-away troglodyte (or that I was troglodytic (which, I am excited to tell you, is a real word)).

No, I was not worried at all about either of those things.

Because I had found it.

The Holy Grail of holiday decorations.

When I picked it up, a woman nearby actually stopped and gasped.

“How much is that?!” she asked, slowly moving in my direction (threatening to breach my rather large personal-space bubble barrier).

I hugged my find a little close to my body, which I turned to an approximately 45 degree protective angle.

“I don’t care!” I exclaimed with glee and jubilance.

I put it in my cart, where it joined two Yankee Candle jars (“Pumpkin Patch” and “Cider Web” scented), a small and shiny orange glass pumpkin, a larger white wooden ghord, and a bag of sparkly gold pinecones (which, ya, I could have made myself with spray glue and glitter, but I fell victim to instant gratification, dammit.).

And when I got up the counter, the saleswoman gasped.

She even called over all the other saleswomen, and one very fun elderly man who said he was from India and that they did not celebrate this holiday there (so he was a bit confused but appropriately impressed anyway).

I was thinking that maybe they celebrated more cow-ish holidays, because I’d heard that they celebrate the bovine as well as the divine there. But I’ve never been to India, and didn’t want to use my phone to google (because that would have been rude), so I couldn’t confirm my suppositions at that time.

Remember, I was brought up Catholic – with the whole Commandment of one God, only God or fires of Hell thing.

It was only later that I found out about the cows.

But this particular holiday decoration did not contain a cow at all, and was not from a holiday celebrated by the elderly man behind the counter.

And I thought, ‘how sad’.

Imagine not being a part of such a holiday.

The whole holiday season.

What would it be like without animated characters on neighborhood lawns?

The expectation of magic?

Little kids screaming at the sight of grown men dressed up in strange suits, sometimes donning fake beards as well?

What would it be like to not celebrate the greatest holiday decoration ever discovered in a HomeGoods store anywhere?

Oh, ya, people.

I found it.

I bought it.

It’s too early to put it up…

Or is it?

I mean, what is the appropriate season to display….


The Wicked Witch of the West’s house-fallen-on-her legs…

sticking out of a sparkly cauldron…

complete with ruby slippers?!

I googled it.

There are no rules people!

Ya baby!

This sucker is going in my front picture window tonight…

Thanks for readin’.


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