… on tangles


A Tangle of Tulips

I sometimes think that, in the hustle and bustle and struggle to ensure things are done in the way we each consider ‘right’, we tangle ourselves into an awful mess, we humans.

I approach these tangles carefully, trying to understand how they came to be… what ideas flopped someones this way, what past traumas turned others that.

And I’ve found, just like my tulips, that the tangles in life are often caused not by most people choosing darkness, but because so many of us are drawn to the light.

It’s just that light is all around… so sometimes we don’t all lean in the same direction.

We are, the vast majority of us, drawn to some pretty good stuff.



Giving and graciously receiving among and across and within our vast ocean of humanity.

Light exists in many places, comes at us from many directions. From big places and small.

Most of us are not enticed by the darker sides of this life.

We don’t take joy, or satisfaction, in wounding others.

Not on purpose.

Not by accident.

And not in the course of getting what we want.

And yet…

And yet, in times of stress or trouble, I have seen folks – good folks – cast shadows on fellow humans… ‘othering’ them, deciding that they are, somehow, a dark force if they don’t seek the same light sources. Moving away from them, avoiding them… needing them to be on a different side. To be wrong.

To be stupid.

Dehumanizing humans.

This happens in the world at large, and within families, and friendships.

The tangle begins.

And tangles can be tough.

They can get to the point of appearing, and feeling, completely snarled. Impossible to unravel. So many individuals winding themselves tightly around ideas that morph to into ‘truth’ and that truth to dogma.

Minds begin to merge with only like minds, larger entities are formed, and suddenly each individual feels even right-er (and more powerful). And ends begin to justify means.

Light from other sources is not explored, not welcome.

And our worlds becomes colder.

They always do, when we see potential enemies all around us.

I have had far more luck approaching tangles, not with righteousness, but with wrong-ed-ess.

It’s not easy.

Not hardly.

Because the thing is, I have to be willing to step away from the comfort of the like-minded and approach with an open heart and mind – not to examine how I can convert those who think differently than I do… and not presenting myself falsely, with the goal of figuring out how to ‘win’ or ‘defeat’ their ideas, as if I am at war.

I approach knowing I have lots to learn from the folks I share the planet with. I approach with trust that those who hold a different opinion than I do have thought about it.

And talked about it.

Stayed up at night thinking about it.

Hashed it out over their own dinner tables, over afternoon coffees, or glasses of wine.

With their own friends, their own families.

I do this because I believe we have so much more in common, at our human cores, than not.

I do this because there is always more to learn, and I don’t want to live a closed life, with limited light… knowing so much more light – and warmth – is out there, but I am keeping it away.

And, most importantly, I do it …

Because I may be wrong.

I know.

But, it has been known to happen…

Once or twice.


Thanks for readin’.

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